The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
no you cant smoke seaweed
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
