Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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