Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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