I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
