so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
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