Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
