You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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