i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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