There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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