i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party