evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
