I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza