did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
25 People Share How They Got Out Of Their Longest Dry Spell
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
21 People Confess Their Craziest Online Dating Experience
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.