so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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