IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
21 People Reveal The Most Embarrassing Secrets They Know About Someone
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.