Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D