I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Randomize
