Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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