Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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