Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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