my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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