I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
