the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
