I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
You can't just leave with hair like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize