He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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