he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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