You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
