I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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