Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
