i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
