Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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