capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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