dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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