when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
