There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
