before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I believe in your delicious
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
