one two three fourrrrnication!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize