Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
