am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
