Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Randomize
