Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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