Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
