Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
