you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
