I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
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