I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
