i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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