if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
