you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Randomize
