her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
