he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.