i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.