Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?

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  (516): whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"? http://tfl.nu/wiv5
  Replies (63) Good night (5378) Bad night (526)
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  (516): View more from New York

  Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?

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  (516): Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me? http://tfl.nu/2ksh
  Replies (63) Good night (6400) Bad night (1536)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"

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  (704): you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!" http://tfl.nu/9nr0
  Replies (19) Good night (6486) Bad night (878)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  I like it rough

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  (402): You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right? (1-402): I like it rough http://tfl.nu/uqsl
  Replies (38) Good night (6851) Bad night (1685)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them

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  (937): how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them http://tfl.nu/5e8u
  Replies (4) Good night (694) Bad night (2954)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.

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  (708): Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think. http://tfl.nu/wg4r
  Replies (20) Good night (4097) Bad night (1272)
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  (851): View more from

  Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.

  (522): View more from

  Don't break up.

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  (851): Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th. (522): Don't break up. http://tfl.nu/7rul
  Replies (12) Good night (2297) Bad night (611)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording

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  (802): i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording http://tfl.nu/qw8w
  Replies (7) Good night (1918) Bad night (606)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you

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  (217): Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you http://tfl.nu/bix8
  Replies (9) Good night (1288) Bad night (911)
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  (916): View more from California

  That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.

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  (916): That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe. http://tfl.nu/yz4h
  Replies (4) Good night (561) Bad night (1468)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day

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  (773): Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day http://tfl.nu/fpi9
  Replies (5) Good night (867) Bad night (1558)
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  (562): View more from California

  I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"

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  (562): I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??" http://tfl.nu/7nog
  Replies (6) Good night (946) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.

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  (505): Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot. http://tfl.nu/8yik
  Replies (3) Good night (630) Bad night (341)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.

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  (814): I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag. http://tfl.nu/1d0d
  Replies (6) Good night (1072) Bad night (370)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.

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  (217): and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear. http://tfl.nu/et11
  Replies (1) Good night (267) Bad night (650)

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