Texts From Last Night

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  (815): View more from Illinois

  yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything

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  (815): yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything http://tfl.nu/8gpe
  Replies (14) Good night (4310) Bad night (803)
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  (813): View more from Florida

  I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.

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  (813): I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching. http://tfl.nu/tbhw
  Replies (30) Good night (810) Bad night (1647)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?

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  (917): i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far? http://tfl.nu/ph4e
  Replies (59) Good night (5995) Bad night (1284)
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward

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  (775): she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward http://tfl.nu/zi7g
  Replies (10) Good night (5817) Bad night (1290)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis

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  (608): It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis http://tfl.nu/80nu
  Replies (12) Good night (4308) Bad night (921)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double

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  (604): she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double http://tfl.nu/55xg
  Replies (18) Good night (4793) Bad night (1074)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.

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  (917): But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting. http://tfl.nu/vtlx
  Replies (6) Good night (1972) Bad night (588)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am

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  (225): I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am http://tfl.nu/iw2h
  Replies (4) Good night (963) Bad night (1722)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.

  (712): View more from Iowa

  On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.

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  (712): You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled. (712): On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride. http://tfl.nu/7lij
  Replies (2) Good night (2123) Bad night (1111)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth

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  (540): i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth http://tfl.nu/m5qw
  Replies (6) Good night (858) Bad night (1416)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.

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  (407): There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese. http://tfl.nu/1bs2
  Replies (6) Good night (978) Bad night (631)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus

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  (774): I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus http://tfl.nu/kps3
  Replies (3) Good night (500) Bad night (767)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!

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  (903): Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!! http://tfl.nu/fyj1
  Replies (7) Good night (2043) Bad night (434)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.

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  (954): Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie. http://tfl.nu/d57l
  Replies (8) Good night (371) Bad night (1451)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.

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  (570): They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me. http://tfl.nu/dk1c
  Replies (5) Good night (435) Bad night (353)

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