Texts From Last Night

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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.

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  (901): god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is. http://tfl.nu/53e5
  Replies (29) Good night (4798) Bad night (1408)
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  (530): View more from California

  He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.

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  (530): He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me. http://tfl.nu/h0f1
  Replies (39) Good night (1114) Bad night (15744)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?

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  (610): I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for? http://tfl.nu/9amw
  Replies (18) Good night (4662) Bad night (1083)
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  (415): View more from California

  He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.

  (650): View more from California

  .......................................

  (415): View more from California

  My thoughts exactly.

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  (415): He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic. (650): ....................................... (415): My thoughts exactly. http://tfl.nu/05rl
  Replies (6) Good night (970) Bad night (2956)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning

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  (904): to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning http://tfl.nu/efma
  Replies (8) Good night (1083) Bad night (2701)
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  (619): View more from California

  You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.

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  (619): You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer. http://tfl.nu/hqfv
  Replies (2) Good night (2114) Bad night (878)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.

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  (757): I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon. http://tfl.nu/7g7n
  Replies (4) Good night (2925) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.

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  (419): Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation. http://tfl.nu/zsht
  Replies (2) Good night (1920) Bad night (558)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"

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  (218): okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy" http://tfl.nu/xm1o
  Replies (6) Good night (1417) Bad night (635)
• Favorite

  (+33): View more from France

  I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."

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  (+33): I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes." http://tfl.nu/b971
  Replies (4) Good night (1795) Bad night (723)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts

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  (925): We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts http://tfl.nu/eq30
  Replies (7) Good night (1710) Bad night (459)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."

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  (770): You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt." http://tfl.nu/x17b
  Replies (8) Good night (1394) Bad night (534)
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  (716): View more from New York

  I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly

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  (716): I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly http://tfl.nu/23d8
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone

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  (425): 1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone http://tfl.nu/2si2
  Replies (3) Good night (542) Bad night (479)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.

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  (904): Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place. http://tfl.nu/0o2l
  Replies (2) Good night (457) Bad night (242)

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