and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You may now shotgun with the bride
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
