Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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