I'm really into asian looking animals
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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