fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
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