No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
