I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
