when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
