I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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