great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
She told me I should be a condom model.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
