All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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