woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just forgot I was standing up.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize
