apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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