I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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